eternity

In the beginning, I thought about it and it didn't sink in. The fact that there could be no more time left. No more time...for what? I've had a pretty decent life. Happy childhood, made my parens proud, got into a good university, made amazing friends, gotten very drunk, been a fool in love (briefly, although I don't really care much for the fool part), seen a small bit of the world (who sees the ENTIRE world anyway?) been on my own, performed Bharatnatyam for Lee Kwan Yew... yep, I've done it all.

Okay, maybe not all. I'd love to go to another Pacific isle sometime and perhaps do one more play. It'd be nice to get really, really fit, lose the paunch and be able to do cartwheels. I must go to Europe with Mom and Dad. And see my bro for a little bit in LA. And do a few more literature courses.

Then I thought of those lights. The ones they put up on the trees in front of UCC, all the way upto YIH during the commencement time in May. Little colored stars within reach. Twinkling, teasing wonder...
Confounded silly, trifles that upset you when you think you're gonna die!!
Its wonderful to be alive..its so wonderful to be alive.

to home, to kidhood and all

So I've been busy. Oversleepin, shoppin (OMG, they have SUCH gorgeous salwar stuff here!), cookin, eatin and drawing. Besides I've been hired to do the mehndi for one of neighbours, she's getting married the day after tomo. So I'm scribblin patterns on every second hand that crosses my path.

But something's been pushing me to do something beyond the housewifey arts and craft scene. I met up with my old art teacher, the one who helped with my Architecture and VISCOMM entrances...I'm gonna work on real sketching this time and for that, I'm gonna get my basics right. Yes. Make the first move, thats the idea.

So I picked up this stupid 2D geometry excercise, mainly a bunch of squares, turned them to 3D by using perspective drawing.It was the most wonderful thing ever...like math on lines. well, basic math, sure, but math. Okay geometry. But all of a sudden, the stupid squares were cominatchya , alive, 3 dimensional even! haha! Its really been a while, you know!

And then I saw all these kids around me prepping for their National Institute of Design exams.... Stupid tears start stinging, heavily kohl lined eyes (TP kurian says indian women should stop doing that so much). No regrets, policy number EK. What's been, had to be.

HOW DOES ONE KEEP TIME?

Time is a melody says the wonderful jack johnson (in between dreams: breakdown)(yes, the need to reference, plagirism of such a beautiful thought is a crime). And its true, you could make a grand sonata out of how some people have used their time, yet only a dull thud and twang out of some others'. Mine will be all strings. I wish I had some percussion, but rythm is not easy to find. Is that a handicap? I have nothing to help me keep time.

But I don't see time as something to keep, time to is to listen and to experience, like music. You can't keep time. That such an illogical idea, to keep time, there's nothing in or about time that we can keep. We are so obsessed with it! Of our time running out, of the clock ticking, we must jam pack everything into everyday because time lost never returns...

They would say, I'm a young fool, whos too young too out of touch with my own mortality. Once I have my first near death experience, I'll probably snap out of this rich revierie, that only someone with too much time on their hands can indulge in anyway.