So i've been feeling lately...

That I shouldn't shy away from doing what I love. Its obviously the only thing that'll keep me happy.

The Dance Blast! show was great. They are great at what they do...and they do it with perfect coordination, throw in a great deal of energy and are creative in a bollywoody sort of way. I loved the show. And it must be noted that all the choreography at the Shut Up and Dance! show this DR, were by student choreographers. Student choreography usually, I have found, to be rather wannabe albeit edgier than those sketched by a mature hand...but then again, blast is altogether aspirational so that naturally contains the wannabe and edginess stood out razor sharp. In other words, the kids did a GREAT job. It had me clapping with the crowd, me event manager, standing there with my blazer and my walkie and clapping away like a groupie. Of course I didnt clap. Claire was right behind me, not clapping....so I didn't clap really.

Singapore is tropical paradise. It is also the safest haven in Asia for normal, apirational people of the working class, with no serious ambitions of changing the world or doin something different. Its like living in an extremely posh housing development unit that is so contained that sometimes I look upto the sky expecting to see a glass enclosure sealing the bubble. This is a strange, misleading feeling to get in a place that imports everything for its upkeep, including water and beach sand, which is itself a strange fact considering this is an island. Strange, strange, strange.

How do people go to work everyday thinking " this is it?"

Work, in my experience, is this:

Someone has a (or several) job to be done so that he/she can live a comfortable, fulfilled life.
But that someone has employed his energies figuring this idea out and so can't actually do it himself (or) he has done the job himself for a long enough time period to know that he/she doesn't want to do it himself anymore, no matter how much the end justifies the painful means.
So they pay someone else to do it.
Someone else doesn't want to do it.
So they are given perks
They are given allowances and time off.
They are taken out to dinner and spoken with kindly about their "future"
That someone else thinks...well, I'm treated well. I can buy some of the stuff I want. My life is not a struggle so long as I hold this job . How does it matter that the person I'm working for is profiting by at least 10 times what I'm being paid?
So you stay in the job.

I am going to make my own job. I will concentrate on my dance and take up drawing and writing again. I will also apply to grad school next year. I will hate my life if I don't set it in the direction of mental work within a year.
Academia...here I come.